Mother's Day

This is our first Mother's Day without Katie and the second without my Mom.  It is interesting to think back to all of the years when I did not put much thought into being without Katie and my Mom.  You sure take things for granted when you have them in front of you.  I have been reading back through the most recent years of Katie's journals, and Mother's Day was always a hard day for her.  She felt like she was not being the best mother or wife that she could be.  I am sure most LDS women have those same thoughts.  I tried to assure Katie that she was doing the best she could at that moment in time.  While she was not perfect, she was trying to be.  That is what the Lord expects of each of us as we strive to endure to the end.

Today we decided to each write a note to Katie and attach it onto a helium ballon that we would let go at the cemetary.  I bought the ballons last night with the hope that they would still be good enough for today.  After shortening the strings and making smaller notes, we had more success.  We stopped at the cemetery on our way to church and let the ballons go.  It was raining and blowing at the time and so the ballons had a harder time getting into the air, but we were successful.  I hope it was a good memory for the kids to help them remember their Mom and what she did for them and continues to do for us in the spirit world.

As I close, I will include part of a letter that Katie wrote to our family before she passed away.  It has and continues to bring peace and comfort to us.

"I love you all so much.  You are my dear, dear family, my life.  You mean everything to me.  I would do anything for you.  I want so badly to be together as a family for all eternity, secure in the blessings promised by Heavenly Father and Jesus.  I know they love us.  I know they believe in us and who we are.  They have given us to each other to love and cherish.  They know life is very hard.  But we have been given a unique challenge that we do not fully understand.  Some day it will all make perfect sense and we will be grateful for what we are called to pass through.  Meanwhile it is our job to have faith, to rise to what is asked of us to do.  Please try to always do the Lord’s will.  It may seem difficult.  But it is my faith that who the Lord calls, He qualifies, meaning you can do hard things and do them well because of who you are.  The Lord will also make sure you can even find joy in the journey.  You will be grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow and become strong in special ways that only those who suffer so intensely can know.  Please strive to understand that Jesus Christ loves you.  He is aware of you.  He knows your names.  He knows what you need."

"Dad and I are amazed we were asked to speak on the atonement in Sacrament meeting last week.  It was a huge blessing to be able to prepare our talks.  I hope each of you will study the atonement of Jesus Christ.  It is amazing that He loves us so much.  It is deep and seems to be hard to grasp but if we try, we will come to know Him.  It is the quest of a lifetime.  Please read the scriptures every day.  Please say your prayers, night and morning and speak to the God of the universe who knows and loves you intimately.  You are special to him.  He yearns to show His love to you.  It is real.  It is true. It is my testimony."

                                                            I love you so much…each one.

                                                            Mom