It took me a week to somewhat wrap my brain around the whole mess. But Heavenly Father is so merciful. Looking back I can see 3 huge blessings He had arranged in advance. Blessing number one: General Conference was the next day, blessing two was we had planned to go my parents for it. Blessing three: Dennis had spring break for a week that next week. It was quite the week but the burden was shared. Dennis and I read lots, we talked, we prayed, we made phone calls. We held onto each other both physically and emotionally.
The week was spent trying to decide whether to have chemo or not. I didn't want to because I've kind of become and herb girl. In a blessing that Dennis and my dad gave me I was promised peace with the treatment plan that was best. But up until we met with my oncologist, Dr. Dickson, I was dead set against chemo.
We were literally walking out the door to go meet with Dr. Dickson for the first time when the phone rang. It was Luana, my midwife. Her husband had had cancer some years ago. She was probably the only person in the whole world who could have told me to go with an open mind.
We liked Dr. Dickson right away. He is compassionate, friendly and he knows his stuff. My treatment course was extensive: chemo, surgery, radiation and more chemo.
My bishop called for a ward fast. The night of the fast we met at the church for a ward prayer. We all knelt down and the bishop said a beautiful prayer. There were so many people there--so much love and support. I know that all of my extended family fasted and prayed for me also. Thank you everyone who took an interest in me. You are all wonderful and I love you all so much!
The day after the ward fast I went in for my first chemo treatment. There I nursed my Mary for the last time. That was the hardest thing! Two weeks later my hair started falling out and I asked Dennis to shave my head. I cried and cried that day.
I had so much love from my family and friends. My sisters and my cousin sent me packages. Other family members and friends also gave sweet gifts from their hearts and served in other amazing ways. My ward sisters brought food and cleaned my house. I got letters from friends and from people I haven't seen in a long time and even from a stranger or two. I got lots of cheering phone calls. My mom's hair dresser who went through cancer sent up her wigs and hats. When I was doing radiation my mom drove up every Thursday to take me and once my sister came clear from Utah to drive me there. The sisters in my ward tended my little ones everyday while I went to radiation and even drove me to my appointment sometimes. Dennis still takes the day off when I go for chemo. Can a person be any more blessed than this?
Wearing a bandanna was more comfortable than my wig for extended periods of time. This was at the Hansen family reunion.I wore my wig to church and finally learned to wear it most of the time in public because I felt much better not looking so conspicuous.
This is my wig. I had a hard time getting used to it because it was bigger hair than I ever had before. I did learn to like it okay.
Here I am looking incredibly hideous. I really hate posting it. It feels like the dream where you show up to church in your underwear. This was mid-February.
This was taken last week. I'm still self conscious because it is so short. But I do feel encouraged that it is growing fast. And it is fun to have so much curl.
I would never want to repeat this past year but I would never want to trade the things I learned from this experience. Looking back, I feel so blessed. My sister called this my walk with God. I loved that. He was never far away and my trial brought me closer to Him.
