Dr. Visit

Dennis and I talked to Dr. Dickson yesterday. He is not concerned about the spot under my breast bone that was picked up by the last 2 scans. (I told Dennis later that I am not scheduling a PET scan again without knowing that I will be able to meet with Dr. Dickson within a week of it. My scan was a month and a half ago and I have worried about it since then!) He said that a PET scans strength is also its weakness in that it picks up every little thing. It is very small and it has not grown much at all. Cancer can also grow a little and shrink a little over time and go back and forth that way. The chemo is working. Dr. D. said that when the chemo stops working we will know. At that point there are plenty of other options including a pill form of chemo. We stay with what works for as long as we can because you burn a bridge when you change and can never go back to that kind of chemo.

My next scan will be in June sometime.

Yesterday when I got up and said my prayers I prayed that I would be able to sit next to someone in the chemo room that I could help and encourage. I sat next to a gentleman who was getting chemo for the first time. He has colon cancer and lung cancer. I visited quite a bit with his wife. I remember how it felt getting chemo the first few times. It was very emotional and she was feeling that way. I enjoyed learning about them and talking to her.

It was especially wonderful to feel well enough to help Dennis fix dinner when we got home! And an even bigger bonus that everyone liked what we fixed--chicken pot pie. We had some Swiss chard that we got from Bountiful Baskets and I chopped some up to put in. I was worried that kids would turn up their noses at the green stuff in it. But they all wanted seconds!!!!

I must also add that I am so grateful it is 2010 and not 2009. Last year at this time I was had just had my first surgery. It was a long long summer. I mowed the lawn last week and it was simply joyful because I could not do it at all last year. What a difference a year makes!!!

Be Still

One morning last week I had some of the hymns from the last general conference playing. The words of this Hymn caught my attention:

When the earth begins to tremble,
Bid our fearful thoughts be still;
When thy judgments spread destruction,
Keep us safe on Zion's hill,
Singing praises,...
Songs of glory unto thee....
Guide Us, O Thou Great Jehovah, Hymns #83

I seems like there has not been a shortage of natural disasters lately. I'm simple minded enough to think that perhaps this Hymn was chosen on purpose to remind us to have faith in Jesus and His promises. I grateful that there is not a shortage of promises to the faithful! "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God." (D&C 101:16)

1982

Just for fun... (All of the dresses we are wearing are homemade--even our blouses! You can click on the picture to see it bigger.)

Flip Flops

Mary was looking closely at this little figurine today.She said, "Jesus has flip flops." He sure does!

One more funny Mary incident: The phone rang today and I said hello. Mary excitedly said, "I want to say hello the prophet!" It was my sister, luckily, so I asked if she would talk to Mary for a second. Mary got the phone and immediately started singing, "Hello the prophet, hello the prophet, hello the prophet, don't go astray-ay." She sang the entire song. Then she handed the phone back to me. I was laughing.

I will have to teach her the real words are "Follow the Prophet".

Mary's Dress

I have been working on a dress for Mary for nearly a month now. But I had a mishap with it a couple of weeks ago. I was pressing the zipper and burned the fabric. I felt sick! And when I went to bed that night I even prayed about it. Early the next morning I woke up and was thinking about it. I had the idea to unpick the side seams and put on a sash. All the seams were serged but I thought I could still make it work. Then I remembered the table cloth I recently made. I cut and hand sewed felt flowers in the corners. I got really excited!

So this is how it turned out. I like it even better than before!

(She had candy in her mouth.)
It does not totally hide the discoloration but hopefully it is not too noticeable. "Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty...."
President Uchtdorf

Good Morning!

My apologies for complaining shamelessly yesterday. I am so blessed. It is definitely a weakness to be such a drama queen. (I'm working on that one too!) Today I am feeling very good and have a much better outlook.

Here's Proof

(click on picture to enlarge)

I often tell my kids that Dennis and I were in the same student ward at Ricks during the year 1987-88. However we did not actually know each other until summer of 1992. This is our ward picture taken February 21, 1988. I have circled the two of us.
How did we miss each other?? Well, it all worked out, thank goodness!

Quick! Make a List of Blessings!

Yesterday was hard. My mom took me to chemo. For some reason I had to try extra hard to be brave--most days I am just fine! Still I got tears in my eyes a couple of times. I did not want anyone to see me cry. My mom saw me dabbing my eyes and she felt bad. I felt dumb (and bad for making her feel bad).

I was just feeling a little sad, a little lonely in my journey, even though people are all around me.

It is hard to think that I will be on chemo for the rest of my life.

And I still have cancer under my breast bone.

And my treatments may change soon and I may have to loose my hair.

And what if Heavenly Father wants me Home before I'm an old lady? Forgive me, but the thought does enter my mind sometimes!

And no one can love my children like I do!
And today I don't feel good because of chemo.

I'd better hurry and get to the blessings!

1. Chemo sickness is not as bad as the morning sickness I had when I was pregnant. (Chemo is just bad enough that I don't do housework for a day but I can sit at the computer or read or wander around doing only what I feel like doing--who can complain about that?)
2. Dennis loves me even when I'm less than I should be.
3. Ditto for my children.
4. And my parents.
5. People tell me I look good.

6. I have not had a cold or the flu this winter.
7. Jeffrey and Brandon have a job to pick up rocks for a farmer. Hooray for employment!
8. Camille and Alexa went to the temple yesterday for Activity Day. They had a wonderful time. Their leader told me that a lady came out and complimented the group of girls on their reverence.
9. Drew and Mary are very cute and say things that make me laugh.
10. Lunch with friends is in the works for this week!!

11.The weather is warming up!

12. I have faith that everything will be OK.

Easter Vacation

One third of my children hid for the picture.

On Thursday bright and early we left for a 5-day weekend in Colorado.When we got to Laramie, Wyoming, it took us an hour to find a road that was not closed. Our preferred route was closed so we got on the freeway. There we waited in nearly stopped traffic until we could inch to a turn around spot. People were out of their vehicles while we sat and sat. By then our other option had opened. The road was treacherous (I was driving!) but we made it.
We spent the night in Denver. Friday we went to an awesome museum. (Drew said his favorite parts of the trip up to that point were watching TV in the hotel and the escalators at the museum.) The museum was neat! It had 3 floors of about everything one can imagine. They boast being the 4th largest natural history museum in the U.S.! Wow!

My favorite part was watching the kids be excited about all the neat exhibits. We also saw a really cool thing about black holes in the planetarium. Amazing. We went to the Colorado state capitol building. We laughed when Dennis was taking our picture at a man walking by who was singing very loudly to his ipod.We drove around and found various pro sports arenas or fields (Three in all, I think.) Then we found the temple.

We went to my sister, Danna's that night. She lives in Brush, about 1 1/2 hours north east of Denver.

She fed us, gave us a place to rest our heads, and otherwise put up with us for 2 days and 3 nights.

We played, talked, hunted for Easter eggs and watched conference. It was all wonderful.

Jeffrey was in charge of the camera during an Easter game we played.


Monday morning we started home. We arrived safely that evening. My kids were sad to come home. We all had such a fun time!

Jr. High Talent Show!

Today Brandon drummed in public and he did a super job! It was a little hard for him to hear his music but in spite of that he did very well! The audience was clapping and cheering him along. It was very fun.