Wednesday, November 16, 2011

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today my world came tumbling down around me.  As much as I knew about what was coming with Katie's death, nothing could have prepared me for the reality of it all.  I have nothing to compare my loss of Katie to.  I can be in a crowd surrounded by family and friends and feel utterly alone.  I feel like Lehi traveling through thick fog for what seems like a very long time and still only have small glimpses of the fruit I am trying to get to.  There are days that I just push the survival button and continue moving on.

I know that I have been blessed beyond measure.  I know that I am not alone.   The kids are doing well and just have to endure the failings of their dad. I know that there are many people praying for me and my family.  I know that Katie is still very involved in our lives.  I know that we will get through this loss.  As she said in a letter to me before she passed away, "Life it not to be lived on a rock pile."  We have to continue on and live life.  We need to be happy and joyful.  We need to live life to the fullest.  Some days are easier than others.

I am grateful for the knowledge of the gospel that I have.  I am grateful to my Heavenly Father to be born into a family where the gospel was lived and taught by wonderful parents and brothers and sisters.  I am grateful to my Savior for His sacrifice for me if I will repent and live worthy of it.  I am grateful for the scriptures that bring us hope and comfort.  I am thankful for living prophets today that help show us the way to live and be happy.  I am grateful for the Holy Ghost and the role he has played in my life to bring me comfort and peace.  I am grateful for wonderful family and friends who are there to help me and my family.  I am grateful for the 17 1/2 years that Katie and I were able to be together in this life.  I am grateful for the knowledge that I have that Katie and I are married forever and that I will be able to be with her again someday.  I pray for the Lord's help as I strive to endure to the end.



I love you Katie.

8 comments:

Joddi said...

Thinking about you and your family today. I miss Katie too!

Darcee said...

Words are hard today. But know we are thinking and reflecting more today than usual. Sending prayers and love.

Unknown said...

I am so grateful for your reflections. Thank you for being so open and sharing your heart with us. I am so glad Katie found you and that you are part of our family. Love and prayers on this hard day and always.

debbie said...

Such a beautiful post. Thoughts and prayers, and love heading your way always, but especially today!

Anonymous said...

Dennis,
We have thought about you and your adorable family today. We hope and pray that you can continue to press forward. Life is so hard, but someday it will all make perfect sense.
Love,
Ken & April Bingham

Andi said...

Thanks for sharing that with us, Dennis. Katie married well! I still feel the loss keenly too.

Geri said...

Dennis, I have been thinking about Katie. I have also been thinking about you and your sweet family. What lucky kids to have the blessing of two parents who love them, and will do anything they can for them.

The Normans said...

We've been thinking of you guys these last few days. Thank you for such a beautiful post! We love you!