Okay, I need a moment. I have to vent just a bit. Nothing it too serious. I'm just having a pity party.
Two things...
Thing #1: Chemo patients are supposed to be careful of getting germs and when one gets a fever of 101 you run to the E.R. I had just had chemo on Thursday and had a bit of a cold. Chemo really threw me for a loop. Friday night I had a fever of 101.7. We decided to go to Immediate Care. The doctor there was very concerned and called Dr. Dickson and they put me on an antibiotic. Well, I am still miserable. Yesterday I used up an entire box of Kleenex. And I could cough up a lung, I swear. It gets pretty bad.
Well, the silver lining here is that Dennis has this week off for spring break. He is a wonderful care-giver.
Thing #2: Thursday, while getting chemo, I missed my boys' band concert. This is what is making the tears flow. Because of chemo and the whole cancer mess, I never made it to a game to hear the pep band. I heard from a lot of people how good they sounded, all 12 of them.
Silver lining: Mom did make it to the concert and recorded it for us. Now I just need to figure out how to watch it.
Dennis and I met with Dr. Dickson on Thursday. He says the chemo is working and the cancer is shrinking. So I am still on the exact chemo that I have been on for the next 7 weeks. I guess I should be excited that it is working. But I am wishing for a light at the end of the tunnel.
9 comments:
Hang in there! I'm so glad that you can see the silver lining in all of this. You're strong and we are still praying for you!
You vent any time you need to, 'cuz it definitely helps to share what you're feeling with others. Sometimes just the sharing makes things seem a little better. You are always in our prayers and we love you!
It definatly is ok to say it with tears...you are an amazingly strong woman and such an example to us all. You can find a positive or "silver lining" in everything. Hang in there, we are all praying for that light in the end of the tunnel for you.
I was having my own little moment today (yes there were tears) and Chandler said, 'Mom, remember that talk in church a couple of Sundays ago about everything seeming bad that really turned out to be a good thing?' I was gently reminded by an 8 year old. But I did feel a bit better after a cry. Of course it is okay to cry. Be Still Your Soul.
You my dear are not Super woman. You are a spirit daughter of God having a human experience. It is temporary and will stand one day as a defining experience. You are a woman of great faith and spiritual sensitivity but you are presently trapped in a body of flesh and you need these flesh experinces to give your eternity flavor and meaning. Keep up your great stand. I love, honor and respect you and am humbled to have you as a daughter.
Dad
My son told someone once, "my mom cries any time she feels an emotion!" It's true I am a big fan of crying and venting! It is great therapy. Thanks for venting to us! I hope the light at the end of the tunnel comes quickly!
Katie- Thank you for your wonderful example. I love to read your blog and I learn a lot about how to have faith and trust in the Lord. I continue to pray for you and your family.
Just reading your post makes me cry. You are such an amazing person, and I feel so bad that you have to go through everything that you are. I wish there was someway I could do more. I love you, and pray for you. I am hoping that things will work out for the best. I hope you get feeling better soon. Please, don't be afraid to call if you need anything. I miss our weekly calls. Love ya!
Katie,
Just a little note to let you know you are in our thoughts, prayers, fasts and temple trips. We wish you the very best and your sweet family comfort. Thanks for sharing on your blog so we can all keep up on your progress. Also thanks to all your wonderful supporters who are taking such great care of you. What a great blessing!
Love, Aunt Jayne
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