Fresh Courage Take

Today Dennis took me for my doctor visit and chemo. Tonight I am feeling well so I decided to stay up and type an update. (I have had a hard time sleeping through the nights so perhaps if I stay up a little later I can make it through with a full nights sleep! Here's hoping!)

Before we left, Karen, Dennis' sister came and got Drew and Mary. She is keeping them until tomorrow night. It will be so nice to have a restful day tomorrow without any interuptions.

The first thing Dr. Dickson asked was how the cancer site was doing. One good thing about this cancer is that it is on the surface and very easy to observe progress or lack thereof. I told him it is still moist some days and that I have not noted improvement. He was very concerned. The treatment should be working by now. He talked us and himself through options. I could tell that it was helping him think to be able to say all the options aloud to us even though we don't really understand all the medicines he was talking about.

At one moment he fell silent. After the moment he told us he had been praying. I said I had been praying too. As I sat there I felt waves of fear wash over me. But he reassured us saying that he did not feel discouraged. He talked to us about Nephi and how it took them 3 tries to get the plates of brass. The Lord could have told Nephi right off how to obtain them but He didn't. He let them fail twice before Nephi went by himself "not knowing beforehand the things which [he] should do." Dr. Dickson said he knows what to do today and next week. He was going to have me take a day off next week but I don't get that anymore. I will go next week and have at least one of my three drugs and possible two of them depending on my blood work that day. After that he is looking and praying for guideposts that give direction. Next week he wants to have an MRI of the chest wall to see what is cancer and what is not cancer. There is a lot of scar tissue from my previous surgery and from radiation as well as swelling. Surgery is possibly in the near future and the MRI will be helpful to determine if that is feasible at this point. If the cancer starts to respond to the treatments this week, we will continue chemo. If it does not surgery will happen sooner than later.

One question that has been haunting me a bit. My first surgery was a lumpectomy and I have wondered if had I had a mastectomy this could have all been avoided. He answered emphatically, no! The cancer would still have come back and it would not have been obvious. So having this tissue still here is a blessing!

After our visit I went to the infusion room and got chemo. It took forever--5 hours today. I had the privilege of visiting with some neat people. One was Dr. Dickson's wife who gets infusions of magnesium every other week. She was so nice and I enjoyed talking with her. There was also another lady I got to know. My nurse today, Becky, was also so, so sweet. Her husband died of cancer 4 years ago. She told me that when he was going through chemo they took their kids with them one at a time to his treatments. They played games and talked. Their kids are so grateful now for the time they spent one on one with their parents. She said they have a family who comes with their daughter and they set up a card table and play games and have a really fun time. Dennis and I decided to do that as well. I think this is a great idea!

Tonight when we got home we had a wonderful dinner waiting for us from a couple of ladies in our ward. Chimichangas with all the fixings. And Fat Boys for dessert. It was all so yummy. I am so grateful for all the love and help I receive from the people around me. Thank you all for your love and prayers.

And now for a request. I need specific prayers in my behalf. 1. For Dr. Dickson to receive the inspiration he is praying for and 2. for the cancer to begin responding to the chemo. Thank you , thank you!

Love to all!